FINALLY! A BATHING SUIT WITH A HORSE ON IT!

($385, We Are Handsome, Net-a-Porter.com)

If you've been reading FashionBinge for at least a minute, you might know I have a "thing" about horses. I never rode horses, and I probably wouldn't, actually, as I'm almost as afraid of heights, speed, and falling (and with horseback riding comes the likelihood of all three) as I am those terrible sublimated dyed shirts. I certainly never owned a horse either. But I'm inexplicably drawn to miniature horses, horse accessories, and a well-timed, unforeseen appearance by a horse on an unsuspecting garment like a swimsuit. I mean COME ON. When did you last see a horse on a swimsuit, hm??

Besides the $385 price tag, the only bad thing I can possibly think of to say about this horse bathing suit by Australian brand We Are Handsome (the brand's name alone is killing me loudly), is that it'd probably make every other un-be-horsed article of clothing I own jealous not to have a horse gallantly galloping across it.

Nobody Does A Bikini Better Than Mara Hoffman

($170, Mara Hoffman, Shopbop.com)

I need a bikini like I need... I don't know. A pair of pink Uggs or something. I will probably never see the water this summer, which I'll be spending under the fluorescent lights of my office. Just like I spent the past 10 summers! But if I were in the market for a bikini, nobody does it better than Mara Hoffman. Right, Carly Simon? Baby you're the best.

Is H&M TRYING To Give You A Yeastie?

This is a new bathing suit -- well, in most places in the universe, this would be considered a bathing suit, but unfortunately, insome parts of, say, New York City, this, and a pair of heels or cowboy boots are considered a "going-out outfit"-- from H&M's Divided Exclusive line coming out this September is probably made out of nylon and should come with a prescription for Diflucan. Just sayin'.