Um, These Are The Bowie-est Boots I've Ever Seen In My Life

($163, Jeffrey Campbell, Modcloth.com)

I mean...

Just when you didn't realize you needed silver glitter wedge booties, you realize you only didn't realize you needed them because you didn't realize they existed. See what I mean here? And FINALLY they do. And you don't have to get them by renting a time machine and hoping to land in David Bowie's shoe trunk somewhere in the '70s ,between The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Diamond Dogs. Or... if you were born after 1990, one of the many tractor-trailers that transports Lady Gaga's footwear on tour. Sigh. Kids today. They'll never know. They'll. Never. Know! Will they?? WILL they?? They won't. They won't know.

+ Where Gaga got it...

Blue Boots Are The New Black Boots

The other morning on the train to work, I had a little epiphany. No, not that the train smelled like piss -- oh, believe me though, it certainly did. I realized that this spring, or whenever I can finally stop wearing my winter boots every day like I have for the past financial quarter or whatever, I'm going to be investing in a pair of blue boots and wear them where and when I'd usually wear black boots. It's all about getting the blue right, though. I'm thinking navy, but then I saw these Jeffrey Cambpell "Lita" boots. True blue.

($155, Jeffrey Campbell, Bonadrag.com)

I Bought It: Jeffrey Campbell Downtown Booties

While visiting my sister in Richmond this past weekend, I made my regularly scheduled trip to Need Supply Company, which is one of my favorite stores in all of Virginia.

Like Peter Gabriel, I was big time into this very '80s David David top:

($82, David David, Needsupply.com)

... Yet I'm in no place to plunk down $82 for a t-shirt, regardless of how loudly it was calling my name. And believe me, it was loud.

So I hit up their shoe selection, which has never disappointed. Even my notoriously picky husband found a cool pair. But of course, I was the one who pulled the trigger and fired a Binge bullet in the form of these Jeffrey Campbell "Downtown" platform booties in tie-dyed blue suede:

($49.99 Jeffrey Campbell, Needsupply.com)

They were on major rager sale, ringing up at just $49, down from $130. Yeah, me! Thanks, Need! And they look SIIIIIIICK on. In the strange parlance of Mariah Carey, they're totally hot tamale. If these heels were a video, they'd be Kings Of Leon's "Sex On Fire."

Freak nasty, right? Enjoy that AND a subsequent cold shower!

Kings Of Leon - New Music - More Music Videos

Jeffrey Campbell, Who Let This Happen?

Look, I enjoy a gladiator wedge as much as the next girl, but I've got my limits. Unlike Jeffrey Campbell, who clearly has none. Khaki cloth? Cheeze-say 1990s silver cowboy buckles? There are just no words.

($210, Jeffrey Campbell, Stylebop.com)

Clogs: Yay or Nay?

True story: The only pair of Dr. Scholl's "original wood exercise sandal" or whatever I owned lasted me approximately four hours. That's how long it took me to hobble to work, feverishly working my toe-grip muscles to unsuccessfully attempt to keep the damn things on my feet, look casual-cute at my desk for a few hours, and finally fall out of them on W. 53rd Street at lunch. Those things are the devil in shoe form. So unassuming-looking, and yet IMPOSSIBLE to walk in. For me, anyway. I'm guessing that wooden shoes + mules = no go, even several years later, but oh how I wish I could rock some of this spring's luxed-up clogs. Hippies never looked so good, people! Here are a few of my favorite clunkers:





Swedish Hasbeens are SO NOW (hardie har har)! Four-inch heels, people. This is the Braided Sky-High model in sweet pale pink, $242 with shipping from Sweden.







Swedish Hasbeens peep-toes, $219 with shipping. Love these!







The Jeffrey Campbell "Charli" clog, $126. This is a really luxe-looking clog. And yet it's five whole inches of heel, slightly mitigated by a one-inch platform. I can only imagine myself attempting to walk down to my work cafeteria, nevermind five blocks to the subway. Danger! Danger! It's stunning in black, and I love that you can move the strap to make it a slingback.







Funkis closed-toe clogs, $149. These are handmade in Sweden AND have staples holding them together, so you know they're authentic (right?).







No. 6 clog boots were all the rage this winter, at least here in New York. Their clogs are custom-made for you and come in a slew of colors and several styles. This is a T-strap for $230.







If I were to join the cult of clogs, I might just go for Maguba's DIY option: design it yourself! I just can't figure out what color combo I would get...purple and black? Purple and yellow? Black and yellow? So many options!

















Maguba "Barcelona" clogs, $141.



If actual clogs are just too scary for you, there are a whole bunch of clog-inspired sandals out there. A few studs in the right spot, and bam! Hot semi-cloggy action.





Nine West "Eddisha" sandals, $79.







Miz Mooz "Hazel" sandals, $99.95.







And another: Kensie Girl "Taylor" sandals, $63.







Finally, these are on eBay and only applicable to size 7.5s, but, just, wow. Sigerson Morrison clogs, a Buy It Now steal at $105.99. Such a uniquely feminine (yet still cloggy) take on the style.



Happy stomping!

Never Enough NUDES!

I am so with Tamar on this insatiable need for cream-colored footwear. However, I could give two craps about classic simple pumps and need a little more embellishment. Like so:


Jeffrey Campbell bow-back heel, $128. THAT BOW!



Faryl Robinson Madison wedge, $228. I could see myself wearing these a LOT.



Jeffrey Campbell Buttons peep-toe pumps, $96. Cute as a...yeah.



Vivienne Westwood by Melissa Anglomania Lady Dragon Ball matte pump, $150. With the rubber-stamp! On the rubber shoe!

Jeffrey Campbell Wins Me Back With These Black And Brown Studded Saddle Shoes

These Jeffrey Campbell clunkers left a totally bad taste in mouth -- like when you accidentally bite into a really bad grape -- I HATE when that happens! But, do you stop eating grapes for good? No. You know there will be a better one later on in the bunch. Anyway, what I mean to say is that, I LOVE these Jeffrey Campbell Capone studded saddle shoes have made up for that bad grape. Know what I mean? A little?

($129, Jeffrey Campbell, Singer22.com)

Jeffrey Campbell: "What about your shoes. Do they serve some sort of orthopedic function?"

($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Needsupply.com)

ALL I can think about when I look at these fugly wugly wasn't he, fully-encased-in-no black covered platforms is Seth Green as Kenny Fisher in Can't Hardly Wait, and the key line he delivers to Lauren Ambrose: "What about your shoes. Do they serve some sort of orthopedic function?"

Wanna Buy Cute Shoes?

Rmkay. I'm selling REALLY cute shoes on eBay to fund my Avon 3-Day Walk For Breast Cancer!

Here's a preview of the amazors shoes I'm selling on eBay:

Evan-Picone, resoled

Jeffrey Campbell

Calvin Klein

Vintage -- probably early '60s, resoled. Wore them to a wedding. Which isn't important, but they were worn to a happy event!

Never worn! FOR REAL!

Most are size 7.5 or 8. Hurry! Act now! Buy cute shoes for a good cause!

Wanna just donate because you don't care about shoes?
Do that here: http://walk.avonfoundation.org/goto/tamar

(But how do you not care about shoes?)

Whose Shoes?

All right, who's gonna buy these? Tamron? I think I need to take a little Etsy break....



Vintage dove gray peeptoe pumps, $26. With lace! Okay, okay, I'll buy them.

Also, these made me gasp when I saw them...



Jeffrey Campbell "Spring" sandal, $96. Love the giant purple bow! Alas, not the most practical shoe of all time. And so I restrain myself.

Also cute:



These DKNY wedges, $98. Don't they look so comfy? I'm hoping they'll go on sale. Until then: Practicing restraint.

Restraining.....

Two Great (Bridal) Shoes, Two Very Different Prices

Recently I thought I found the absolute purrrrfect wedding shoe: The Stuart Weitzman "Oboe."



Wedge so you don't sink in the grass, extremely cute bow, dyeable to any color your heart or shoe man can dream up...just utterly best. Except for the price tag: $360. That could pay for, say, a second reception dress! Sadly, the Oboe was not a play I could make.

Turns out I'm gonna be sinking in the grass (hopefully not too much), because I did just go ahead and buy those oft-discussed Melissa Anglomania shoes with the red hearts (from Epaulet, of course). But if I was getting married inside? I'd totally go for these:




Nina Electra pump in ivory, $80. Again: $80. Someone, please, get married in these!

Then go on your island honeymoon and wear these wherever you go:



Steven "Bianna" sandal, $120. (Or purchase the identical knockoff at Alloy, as I will. Thanks to Cheap Chicas for the tip!)

In other shoe news, I think I'll get these huaraches for the summer:



Jeffrey Campbell "Gloria Tie" sandals, $84.