Designer Vs. Discount: Black Lace Top

($827, Markus Lupfer, Luisaviaroma.com)

See, this Markus Lupfer black lace top with an ooh-ahh inducing exposed zipper is an ooh-ahh-inducing $827! BOO!

Meanwhile, this BB Dakota black lace top...

($70, BB Dakota, Piperlime.com)

... JUST $70! YAY! You save $757! BOOM!

Why Aren't I Wearing: These Two-Tone Fergie 'Amplify' Heels

I will full-on admit that I like Fergie. Well, I have a soft spot for her. She fully embraces her trannydom, she's always workin' on her fitness, she can do a cartwheel and sing at the same time, she once peed her pants in public and was like 'whatevs,' and her hair is usually fun.

Therefore, I'm NOT at all ashamed to be having thoughts about Fergie's "Amplify" heels. They're bold and transrageous, just like their namesake.

($59.99, Fergie, Piperlime.com)

($250, Current Elliott, Net-a-porter.com)

I'd wear them with these Current Elliott medium wash skinny jeans (if I owned them).

Harlequin-Inspired Shoes From Alaïa & Nude Footwear

Inspired by my silk blazer purchase, I've been on a 1930s tuxedo-y menswear jaunt. Therefore I've been gazing longingly, loving at harlequin-inspired black-and-white shoes. Such as...

($129, nude footwear, Piperlime.com)

These two-toned suede heels are kind of like a girlie tuxedo in shoe form. They're precious without being OVERLY precious and venturing into the dangerously cutesy barf zone. NEED!

($669, Alaïa, TheOutnet.com)

A Deco dream in bootie form. I really should just STOP looking at TheOutnet.com.

($669, Alaïa, TheOutnet.com)

Perforated patent booties are as close to Lady Gaga as I ever want to get.


Oh, so PS, I had a wedding this past weekend, and I needed a nice blazer to wear over my dress (this Christopher Deane dress, which has now seen MANY weddings -- yes, I impulsively bought a pricey-for-me new blazer, but seriously, that Christopher Deane dress has danced with me at like five weddings as well as my own engagement party). So I ended up getting this silk-esque blazer from Topshop:

($145, Topshop)

BTW, the description says navy blue, but friends, it's black. It fits well, but when I saw it on me in a photo we (the blazer and I!) looked kinda amorphous. I'll chalk it up to the fact that I was wearing a waistless shift dress. Lesson learned -- don't wear a slouchy blazer with a shift dress and expect anything less than a net result = slouchy/ no waist look! I won't make that mistake again, but I will rock this with some yes-I-actually-do-have-a-waist outfits: t-shirts and skinny jeans and boots. YAY, FALL!

Nude Studded Heel I Need Like Yesterday

($160, Boutique 9, Piperlime)

Punk can be demure in dusty rose! J'adore these D'orsay studded heels. Oh trespass sweetly urge!

Studded, Structured, Sequined Shoes For Fall!

It's time for a... Fall shoe binge! Check these selects -- studded, structured heels and booties I'd buy if you were footing the bill.

($129, Steven By Steve Madden, Piperlime)

I know. I need more studded stuff like Kanye needs more exposure. But I can't resist these fun "Stardom" flats.

($24, Pink Footwear, Lulus)

Black oxfords = So simple, so cheap, so... something I will inevitably go back and buy in a week after much pointless deliberation, so I may as well just buy them now, right?

($585, Giuseppe Zanotti, Piperlime)

I need more '80s throwback heels like Fergie needs more bronzer, but I can't resist these black suede eyelet-covered Giuseppe Zanottis.

($110, BCBG Girls, Dillards)

Uh, blue suede, cone heel, fun '80s grommets? BCBGirls "Border" heels = YES.

($49.99, alice + olivia for Payless)

Don't you love how Payless can get low, like Flo Rida style? These alice + olivia "Robertson" peep-toe jeweled boots are sluttastic in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY. Next stop? Bootswitdafur!

($26.99, Payless)

Black lacquer heels at PAYLESS? Girl, you is NASTY!

($26.99, Payless)

Payless, girl, you are BAAAAAAAAD! And it feels GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!