Urban Outfitters Is Really Doing Some Fantastic Things With Shoes Right Now

I'm feeling such primal urges toward shoe shopping right now. Mommy! What do my feelings mean? (Will I still be a virgin?) I think I need to fantasy shop to fulfill my urge to buy a shitton of shoes. Like just fill up a cart with these shoes, and then close it, the way ex-smokers will pretend to inhale a lit cigarette. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Okay... GO!

($48, Urbanoutfitters.com)

Um, hi. These neutral suede heels are just $48. It's like they WANT US TO BUY THEM or something! How sweet would these look with grey tights? They also come in grey, but they're SOLD OUT. BOO HISS!

($68, Deena & Ozzy, Urbanoutfitters.com)

Granted, I wouldn't be able to walk from my bedroom to my apartment door without falling in these wedges, but I would if I could. They remind me of Rick Owens' crazy platform wedges at one one-billionth of the price.

($58, Urbanoutfitters.com)

Eee! I LOVE a white macrame bootie! They remind me of the Steve Madden "Skiip" woven Oxfords I love and have worn into the ground.

($89.99, Matiko, Urbanoutfitters.com)

Is there anything more FOSSE than a black suede platform? IT'S SHOWTIME!